Whimsical Audacity and My Soul Map

Photo by Jessica Felicio on Unsplash

You know you got to shift a little to make things shake.

She invites me to her garden as I lament the early days of my adulthood, waiting to be called to tables that were not built for me, striving to see how I can shape myself, yet often missing the mark. I follow her to a space of lush greens, vibrant fruits and veggies, a plush purple carpet under an array of colorful soft pillows. My body relaxes as the cool grass embraces my bare feet.

Gesturing for me to sit and offering me fresh herbal garden-grown tea, she grabs her own drink as the sun soaks our glowing melanin and offers a toast. A toast to the times when we finally realize that those tables weren’t built for us. A toast to the tough days we’d dwelled in nihilism, then shifted to a chaotic existentialism: the burst of life that comes when one remembers she has freewill. A celebration of the goofy comments we’ve made about being an Ecclesiastes 1:2 Christian, the one who the world punched but she kicked back, and became the one who embraces whimsy and boldness when it came to navigating this new world where the rules are changing, and everything seems to be on fire. Spending time with older, wiser Kou initiates a journey to not idly wait but to have whimsical audacity.

At the end of last year, I was doomscrolling TikTok. Several content creators discussed “Chasing Rejection” and how many opportunities it led to. One creator said she obtained dual citizenship by this strategy. Girl, what?

Reaching out to see what happens seemed fun, especially since my brain is always buzzing with connections and ideas. So, I decided not to chase rejection per se, but rather, dare to ask, and ask a lot. As a super sensitive person who had been rejected, gaslit, offered the crumbs at the table even when she wasn’t hungry I realized that people will do or say what they want about my asks (seriously, I learned I was still getting over someone who got offended I mentioned a “high salary”…do people not know how to say “no” or negotiate? Sheesh!). All I can really do is live and move on. Unfortunately, the not-so-great experiences from a few times I asked led me to run to the corner and just wait for permission. I’m 35 now, and over it.

In comes the “Soul Map,” the ecosystem name for every plan, e-mail, idea, and project attached to the Whimsical Audacity List (instead of “chasing rejection list or however they called it). It functions as a guide to keep me on track for reaching out to people, building proposals, and organizing all the information I receive from potential collaborators. It also helps me see where I can pivot where certain opportunities fall through (no answers, “no,” not now, or simply not a great deal). This guide also keeps me grounded in my values since many of the ideas developed from them.

A good friend gifted me a poster that became a quiet motto, stating: “Nobody’s free until everybody’s free.” – Fannie Lou Hamer. Years later, while listening to the Gettin’ Grown Podcast, I heard Jade say, “We all can eat.” Finally, at a black earth collective + lab (a collective I’m a cofounder of) meeting, another cofounder told us about Buen Vivir, or “well-living,” as The Guardian put it. And as these ideals continued to sink in, I remembered: I long to see what community being and thriving look like where everyone “gone eat and everyone gone sleep.” How can I contribute in my own audacious way to Buen Vivir and freedom for all? These are the motivations of the “Soul Map”/Whimsical Audacity.

In my years as a journalist, artist, and “basic needs advocate” who navigated the arts, hospitality, and culture spaces in RI, I witnessed the raw, quirky, inspiring beauty that the people I shared space with exude. And to see the natural, unapologetic, interdisciplinary ways many groups move here. I wanted to dip into those parts of myself and walk alongside the others. And of course, get us all paid.

Getting us all paid has been what I have been wondering about as I develop the Soul Map and, by extension, the Whimsical Audacity list. I’m still figuring out how to explain each idea on a platform like this, hoping that someone, or some people, will know who I can talk to and work with. It’s a huge and exciting task to take on while striving to finish my second book and keep up with this ever-changing world. Most indirectly, I can explain in this post that a couple of works-in-progress are collaborative events featuring poets, singers, and dancers; I’m still trying to secure a venue. So if you want to know more, you can definitely chat with me. Other ideas include a Loc’d In &…series. But I guess I will discuss it more another time.

So here I am. Back in this garden. Laughing with elder Kou over some delicious tea. We know we got this; want to join us?

Write with me: Draft Your Audacity List: Write down three “quirky” asks. A collaboration, a venue, a high salary. Which ask can you make in the next week?

A Plan birthed from Prayer and Pain: Project OverFlo

I was on my knees praying for the pain to go away and praying for Jesus to show me how I could serve Him. Working my way out of a quarter-life crisis and menstrual cramps that didn’t care about my feelings, I wanted to tough it out, but it became more complex as the years went by. Yet, I was going through another pain, too. Maybe one may call it mental or emotional, but right now, I will call it a painful hunger for purpose.

That particular evening I felt like I’d received an answer. So by what seemed to be divine intervention, I stumbled across a video from Bustle about how homeless women dealt with their periods. For a moment, my pain felt so small compared to the struggle women had to go through to decide between food and feminine hygiene products. Suddenly a plan was born.

While working for a nonprofit, I watched what they did to raise funds and supplies while taking notes about how I wanted to shape this new project. In the beginning, it didn’t have a name, but I figured we’d cross that bridge when we got there. This is what Project OverFlo became:

“Project OverFlo is a community initiative focused on collecting feminine hygiene products for people in need. Project OverFlo also focuses on activism, grassroots organizing, collision building, and effecting positive social change through free educational events and support.

John 7:37-38” 

I recruited some great friends to help me move the project forward, along with the blessing from my church. We hosted eight lunch and learns for three years and collected over 9k feminine hygiene products for two local nonprofits. When the pandemic came, the last bunch of feminine hygiene products was sent to families in need (with the help of AMOR) since most could not leave their homes for essentials. 

You never know how God will answer your prayers. You might end up answering other people’s prayers, too.

ONE YEAR BOOK ANNIVERSARY!

It’s official, everyone! My book, “Jesus, Adulting, People in Poetry,” has been around a whole year! I published the electronic copy first, then the paperback. There’s no hardcover at this time because Amazon won’t let me be great. I might consider an audio version at some point.

Gratitude is overwhelming me because of all the support I’ve received. It means a lot considering it took a WHOLE lot to get the book published. It’s primarily mental setbacks and some technical goofs, but it’s out there now for the whole world to see (okay, that’s a little nerve recking to say).

I remember I convinced myself to work on my book before heading to one of my jobs. It was about 5 am, and I had a gig at 6 am. It was peacefully quiet and quite dark outside. All you can hear was my typing and clicking as I got the poems together and broke down the book into three parts. 

It felt almost natural and therapeutic at the time. I was sitting up on my bed while my lamp’s light brightened that tiny area of my room. I promised myself that I will get the work done while I had a somewhat flexible job. And I was grateful for that. 

[UPDATE: 10/15/21 AT 2:17PM] On October 14th at 7 pm EST, I held a Facebook Live to celebrate! Feel free to watch as it starts around the 8 min mark. Join me for an evening of poetry, and I will still answer your questions! So excited hear from you! Here is the photo for you to click if you want to watch on Instagram:

Photo taken by What Cheer Writer’s Club

To check out my previous live you can click below:

Blue Plate Diner Review

“Thou Shalt Not Worship Golden Arches”

We snickered at the shade thrown. When we looked up at the diner’s ceiling, my friend and I saw those words as we settled into large blue booths. But we soon realized, “Why would we go to where the Golden Arches are when you can get some great food here?”

The other day, I took a trip to Middletown to check out the “Blue Plate Diner,” a hidden gem that prides itself on making its “unique comfort food with a twist,” and cooking everything from scratch with local ingredients. After seeing their page on Instagram and wanting something to do that dreary Friday, we gave them a shot. And we made sure we were hungry before we went.

Once we entered, we noticed how clean and spacious the establishment was, and the color scheme of royal blue and gold was quite attractive. We almost thought that the diner was no more than five years old. However, our fantastic waitress Pam clarified that Blue Plate was about twelve years old.

Despite looking on their Instagram, I sat across my friend, going back and forth with what to choose. The menu was extensive, but I was hungry and eager to try almost anything.

So I went with the chicken and waffle.

And if you want to know how I liked it: I loved it and it didn’t disappoint.

I tend to be firmly against meals that are savory/salty and sweet. However, the chicken and waffle vastly changed my mind. On top of the warm and fluffy waffle was a crispy fresh fried chicken. Powdered sugar topped the fried chicken. On the plate was the maple butter and the three pepper sauce.

Now dipping the chicken and waffle into the three pepper sauce is a whole experience. The waffle’s fluffiness, contrasting the crunch and juiciness of the chicken, soaking in this sweet with a slight spice of the sauce. The chicken and waffle was the winner for me in this diner. I was scraping my plate clean.

If you want to experience the chicken and waffle for yourself or try their other specials, check out Blue Plate Diner, 665 West Main Road, Middletown, RI. Their hours are Sunday thru Tuesday, 8 am till 3 pm, and Wednesday thru Saturday 8 am-8 pm.

Charuma Tea Bar Review

Okay, everyone! I found another tasty spot in downtown Providence. Let me tell you about Charuma Tea Bar, where the drinks are fresh, and the snacks are mouth-watering.

Charuma Tea Bar is a bubble tea shop where their teas are imported from and hand-selected in Taiwan. They make their boba in-house. The staff explained that since they make the boba in-house, it would not look like your typical boba. When my friend and I ordered our drinks, I noticed the detail they put into taking your order. They will ask you how much sweetener you want by percentage, what kind of tea and its flavor, and how much ice. I enjoy a good boba, but I haven’t had boba quite like theirs.

As my friend and I were trying to decide whether or not we wanted to purchase popcorn chicken, the chef came from around the corner and offered us two cups with pieces of chicken. I admire how much pride they took in their product to provide you with some chicken.

I took a bite. The chicken burst with flavorful spices while being juicy and fresh. Sold on the chicken and hospitality, I ordered a seaweed salt and pepper popcorn chicken along with my passion fruit green boba tea.

As we waited for our orders, I admired the little shop. Of course, it was clean, spacious with beautiful designs. It had a modern/minimalistic aesthetic with gold frames on the wall, a tiny ship near the entrance, and a wall with the logo and jars. It was also relatively quiet, up until groups of people walked in.

When we got our food and drinks, we enjoyed it. When I took a sip of the boba tea, I felt refreshed, as if I had finally gotten water during a scorching hot day. The tea was flavorful, and the boba was chewy. The popcorn chicken was just as juicy, fresh, and tasty as the sample they gave me. It was the dark meat! I was in love. If you want to have this experience, check out Charuma Tea Bar, located at 45 Weybosset St Providence, RI 02903. Their hours are currently Monday thru Saturday from 11:30 am – 6 pm.

Honey and Venom: Confessions of an Urban Beekeeper Review

Last year, a friend of mine took on beekeeping. While this same friend also had a healthy fear of bees (like myself), she took on this challenge while the great illness was upon us. She attempted to convince me to try it myself (truthfully, why not since I use honey all the time now- still haven’t brought myself to do it). She introduced me to “Honey and Venom: Confessions of an Urban Beekeeper” By Andrew Cote. Intrigued by the title, I ordered it from the library (we live a frugal life here as artists).

I became hooked. Cote tells all the stories in a relatable and humorous way while offering the reader much knowledge about beekeeping. He did not hold back on how he felt, nor did he hold back on info that could help readers consider or not consider beekeeping for themselves. Cote gave me some insight into a culture I would’ve never known, probably pre-pandemic.

As a beekeeping skeptic, I was nervous learning that bees don’t take too kindly to banana scents. As Cote mentioned his trip to Uganda, “So that banana-like alarm pheromone encourages honey bees to sting and sting again– and again and again- in the same area (p19).” As a Liberian American who likes fried plantain too much and loves to bake no-nut banana bread, it was a no for me. However, I continued to read.

He wrote about an occasion that made me concerned for the bees. A sketchy real estate agent contacted him to help move beehives and honey. A client had more than forty hives with bees and honey still in them. The poor worker bees were freaking out, and neighbors were terrified of the hot mess. Without giving too much, the whole situation was sketchy.

As someone who lives in a relatively urban area in my state, it was interesting to learn that Cote kept his bees on top of buildings in New York City. I was scared of possible falling while trying to tend to flying little critters. Not Cote, of course, but I think he’s been beekeeping longer than I’ve been alive.

Final thoughts:

  1. This is a great read
  2. I’m slightly more open to beekeeping

How I became a farmer

Several years ago, the library gifted me free seeds. I thought I was going to plant that year, but I didn’t get around to it. I loved the idea of growing my fruits and vegetables, especially since I’m a self-proclaimed frugal queen. However, almost every year, I’d end up sending the seeds to my friend’s mom, who has been tending a garden for years now.

Who would’ve thought that I’d finally start a garden? Once the great illness fell upon my state, our governor immediately placed us on stay-at-home orders. As a non-essential worker, I no longer had my “day jobs” (that I enjoyed but chose not to talk about because folks like to talk about “day jobs” too darn much). Therefore I had plenty of time on my hands and wanted to try something different. I brainstormed plants I could grow and created a budget.

During the stay-at-home order, the neighborhood library was doing deliveries and curbside pick-ups. One day I took a walk there. The librarian brought out a box full of seeds. I began to pick through it. It was an exciting start as I planted flowers and basil plants. Although most of them grew, they didn’t grow large enough to have dinner and sell bouquets, which was the goal last year and again this year.

I had and still have big dreams of a flourishing garden and saving so much money on groceries. One of the first things I’ve noticed when I lost two gigs during the pandemic was how increasingly pricey the cost of food was getting. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, overall consumer prices increased by 5.4% in the last 12 months as of July 2021.

And financial folks who had jobs love to boast about spending less than what they earn. And as I wasn’t earning, I was making the best of what I had, which is always more than enough.

What started as an experiment turned into a hobby turned into a quest to save money and a project to acquire land. I met with farmers, beekeepers, professors, researchers, food advocates, and entrepreneurs in this journey. But that’s a topic for another day.

it’s blog post official ;-)

Okay, 2020 was quite the year for many people. Please believe it was hectic for me, too. Somewhere amid the chaos, I had my website redone and published a book. Look at me; I’m a whole author now! It took a couple of years, but you can purchase my book “Jesus, Adulting, People in Poetry” by clicking the link below. 

Also, I’ll add a video of me reading the first part of the intro here:

You’re now probably wondering what Pechachuka is. Well, here is my presentation:

pechakucha.com/presentations/next-plan

Drawing for “Next Plan”
pechakucha.com/presentations/next-plan

Now, I’m so excited to let you all know about all the fun things I’m up to next time!

Dating, Sports and Awkward Silence Commentary

Confession: I have little to no interest in sports. Most of them require my more underdeveloped skills, but I may save that for another post.

I’ve received dating advice that I thought was odd. It was to start watching sports so I can bond with my significant other. I wasn’t interested in doing so. People in relationships may need their “me” time. My potential partner, who may be into sports, can watch the Super Bowl or playoffs on their time.

Here’s what happens when I get a spark of wonder in a sport on TV:

1. I pepper the sport’s fan with questions about what’s going on.

2. I consciously or subconsciously ask about the team they’re rooting for while the team is losing.

3. I watch the steam come out of their ears while they stare at the screen.

4. I stay quiet for a moment and then ask more questions.

I’ve warned dates about this. They looked shocked like I deliberately drop-kicked a puppy in the stomach in front of them (in case I’ve dated you and we’ve had that conversation: yes, yes you did look at me like that). DISCLAIMER: I love puppies, I wouldn’t do that.

Dates, buddies, coworkers, and business contacts have asked me which sports team I was rooting for. I get awkward because I enjoy engaging dialogue but now have nothing to contribute. Then I allow the awkward silence to seep in between us.

I really wish I could be the “ideal woman”- never mind, I lied. I envision that ideal womxn as someone who is down to earth, appealing to the male gaze, athletic, a sports fanatic, gets to places on time, and thriving in corporate America. I’ve met versions of this womxn, and they’re so amazing! I believe what makes us all special is our differences. I get the concept of sacrificing a bit to appease your partner (friend, family, the person who has the power to promote/hire you), that’s why I tolerate bowling…I hate bowling… I’m sick of it.

So my friends, coworkers, potential partners, and clients, if you want to watch sports in peace, please feel free to kindly ask me to go to the store and get you an item that is extremely hard to find. Or nicely bribe me with student loan money and a doughnut from Knead Doughnuts to be quiet.

#dating #sports #adulting #awkward

Hello, I’m your “Petty Peeve” but let me explain

“Gettin’ Grown” is one of my favorite podcasts. I’ve been a fan of their weekly commentary on adulting for over a year. Hosts Keia and Jade have a segment called “Petty Peeves” when they discuss what annoys them or their audience. I tune in with excitement, knowing I was going to relate to the hosts or the audience members on annoying antics. However, in the beginning, almost every week, I learned that I was someone’s petty peeve.

I admit I can’t remember all the related petty peeve antics mentioned on the show. But one that stood out was about the coworker who’d cut a piece of a food item (i.e., pastry) and leave it for others to pick off of. The hosts sounded annoyed about people who do this, and I was probably turning red. All I wanted to do was try the free pastry.

I worked in the finance industry for all of 3.5 seconds. One day, a mortgage originator brought a box of doughnuts. Now I confess, I’m the first employee who gets up when there’s food or beverages offered. My petty peeve is when people know they want to eat and there’s (FREE) food available but refuse to take advantage of the blessing laid before them. So I take my blessings, thank you!

I went to the back room and saw the doughnuts. Honestly, I’m not totally into the doughnuts that were there (it was from a chain doughnut shop that shall not be named). I’ve been partaking in Rhode Island’s specialized doughnut scene for a while now and was becoming sort of a doughnut and coffee snob. But since it was free, I took a piece and went about my day. Never did I imagine, I was one of someone’s office petty peeve.

Being the first employee to eat is a title that is for only the strong. When it’s time for people to gossip and my name is thrown in the ring that’s one topic that comes up. “Oh, we have pastries in the back, bet Kou’d want some.”

“That girl can EAT!”

When it comes to breaking the ice for those people who don’t want to be the first to take free food, you can count on me. Therefore, LET me be your petty peeve if that day I only want a PIECE.

But I feel you; I’m a bit annoying.

#freebagels #adulting #doughnuts #office #PVD #rhodeisland #podcasts #idontcare