Screeching echoed through the halls of the apartment building, following a herd of footsteps pounding down a flight of stairs. A group of little girls, my cousins, were running for their dear lives. I wasn’t sure what they saw, but I was not trying to find out. I began to back up against the wall as I saw a boy a few years older than me with his hands closed in front of him appear from the doorway my cousins came from. He turned and walked calmly down the stairs towards my direction. It became apparent that my cousins were afraid of either the boy or whatever he had in his hands.
His facial expression is a blur now. I was probably five or six at the time and the youngest and smallest of my group of cousins. Hearing them scream terrified me and I was scared that whatever the boy had it was going to attack me and life as I knew it was going to be over.
The boy realized I was the only one who didn’t run for her life. He moved closer as I pressed against the wall. What was he going to do to me? I could tell some of my cousins were unsure whether to continue to run or make sure I was okay.
The boy leaned close and opened his hands. In his hands, he held a tiny gerbil and silently gave me permission to pet it. I fell in love with the little creature. I wanted to be cautious because it DID cause my cousins to panic. But I felt such affection towards this animal because it was small like me. I stroked its fur and felt myself becoming calm.
“Kou’s brave ‘cause she loves animals,” One of my cousins announced.
Eventually, some of my cousins came back to see the gerbil. Those were some of the moments I remembered from childhood. I did love animals, I loved them so much that one of the many things I desired to be when I grew up was a veterinarian. As I got older, somewhere amid the arts, middle and high school, work, college, stress, and general adulting that dream disappeared. Now, I just want a pet…but my bank account, my allergies, and my living situation said no. Plus, I became a writer.
When I think about this, I believe it’s okay not to want to do something you may have wanted to do as a child. Especially, with how many jobs transform throughout the years and how much you change. I do believe that what you wanted to do as a child sometimes gives you insight or clues about what you’ll end up doing as an adult. I wish I can give you the direct connection of how being a lover of animals made me the writer I am today, maybe I can save that for another post. Not to say that perhaps at some point in my life I will be back in school to be a vet, but I’m writing to let you know that, you’ll be iight if you didn’t walk the original path you set for yourself. What’s a profession you wanted to get into as a child but as an adult never pursued?
Kou T. Nyan 