28 questions from someone who just turned 28

My birthday had passed recently. Bloggers, vloggers, and writers take the recent birthday opportunity to write about what they’ve learned up until however old they are (most of the time thirty). So I figured that instead, I will list questions I still have.

1. Why did it take me until last year to learn that it’s “baby when we’re grinding, I get so excited” not “baby when you’re crying I get so excited”(NEXT- Dancing too Close)?

2. Why do toddlers have so much energy?

3. Why do some people clap when they talk…like me?

4. Why does sage smell so oddddddddd?

5. Why do babies feel entitled to stare into a person’s soul?

6. Whatever happened to my neighbor’s rooster?

7. If I laugh at my own jokes, does that mean I’m funny?

8. What’s the best life insurance and do I really have to wait until I’m married?

9. Why…was she “creeping ’round late last night? Why did I see two shadows moving in your bedroom light? Now you’re dressed in black when I left you were dressed in white” (Craig David- Fill Me In)?

10. Who’s paying for the wall?

11. Why is that particular town that tax blocked my car so petty? (LMBO!)

12. Why did less than five years ago someone called “twerking” the new dance craze when I believe it may have been around more than 28 years ago?

13. Were the guys (assuming cis-men) who wanted to sleep with me on Plenty of Fish going to ask me questions like, “do you have an STD,” “do you use birth control” or “are you a serial killer” before proposing that we should engage in sexual activity?

14. Can I put my pronouns in the signature of every email I write?

15. Can I be silly in peace? Gosh, darn you!

16. Will the people I invite to church actually go to the 8 am service with me? I have my reasons…

17. When will I stop thinking things are so far away?

18. “(Insert Liberian accent)Why do Americans say everything’s cute?” My mom asked.

19. Why hasn’t anyone confirmed or denied that Chris Brown had a master’s degree when I asked?

20. What am I looking for when I scroll through social media?

21. Will I ever meet that check from someone else that will wipe my student debt forever?

22. Why does every dating app I mention people say that it’s technically a “thot” app?

23. Will my edges ever fully grow back?

24. Is there a cute/flirty way to let my date know I have a terrible nut allergy?

25. Did Flint get clean water yet?

26. When’s the best time to post?

27. What is the proper title of the career I’m trying to get into?

28. Why is life so fascinating?

Trust me, I have soooo many more questions. I did learn a lot, but I think the biggest lesson I’ve learned in my 28 years of life is that I don’t know everything…. and that’s perfectly okay.