Retirement

(Kou’s retirement letter, inspired by a retirement letter written by someone who worked in a company she worked at)

Dear Colleagues and super close acquaintances,

Peace out yo.

I will miss you all, but social media makes me think the world is small enough not to miss you. I will probably be on Instagram once a week to show off a picture of me jet skiing and living my darn life. I expect you to do the same.

Let’s be honest, you’re going to miss me. But you’re life will go on. You’ll probably think of me when your bored at work wondering where is Kou to cackle with me? Where is she trying to help me save the world? Where is her delicious banana bread that I never thought to just ask her for the recipe and make my darn self? YES, you will miss me. I must say after all these years I’ve finally gotten the professional respect I longed for and I’m so grateful I found it- while working for myself, traveling, and living my life. Again, I hope you can do the same.

Save your coins, like I did when I was young (and I still look it. Yes, I still get IDed), use your vacation days, do an excellent job but don’t take it home with you. They will replace you when you’re dead. To all you employees, entre and intrapreneurs, bosses, CEOs, and retirees- make the most of your life while you still can. It’s a gift, not a curse. If I hear any of you all say that “life sucks” I’m punching you.

If you care to know, I’m going jet-skiing this weekend. After that, I might babysit some chicken nugget looking grandkids of mine and travel some more. I’m going to enjoy retirement- now that I’m no longer expected to work.

I’m going to really miss you all. It was lit. PEACE!

Only the Best,

Kou